Deadline
Says on your behalf
This meeting could have been an email.
The announcement of the decade. Office Series
The tie. Crooked. On purpose.
A unicorn candle for your colleagues. It says, from the desk, what you can't say out loud. For now it is a 3D prototype and only a waitlist.
We could have tied it straight. We chose honesty.
For ten years, humanity has worked on a better way to say “as per my last email”. The result: “as per my last email”, with six people cc'd.
Today, we introduce a candle.
Strictly speaking, a 3D model of one. The candle doesn't exist yet. The waitlist does.
Technical specifications
Six reasons to put it on the desk and say nothing.
- Tie angle
- Not signed off
- Send revisions by email. He does not read email.
- Moustache
- Detachable
- For meetings with senior leadership.
- Microphone
- Muted. Permanently
- The unicorn stays silent in meetings. Not a known issue. The main feature.
- Meeting attendance
- 100% silent
- Meetings attended so far: zero. He is a 3D prototype.
- Horn
- One
- Does not scale.
- Reply to email
- Don't wait up
- Out of office since the render.
The line-up
Five models. Each one says what you won't.
Swipe sideways: the button below signs you up for the one on screen.
Accountant
Says on your behalf
Still waiting on January's paperwork.
Gamer
Says on your behalf
I'm online. Just not in this meeting.
Punk
Says on your behalf
Let's not circle back.
Biker
Says on your behalf
Friday, 6 pm. I am already gone.
Quorum reached. Nothing decided.
The Biker isn't in this shot. It's Friday.
A gift for colleagues
Deployment guide.
- Place on a colleague's desk.
- Do not explain.
- Return to your seat. Nothing happened.
The joke is about work, never about the person. So the whole floor can laugh, including whoever owns the desk.
The fine print, in large print.
- This is a prototype. Every image here is a 3D visualisation.
- The candle hasn't been cast. You can't buy it, and there's nothing to pay for.
- For now it is only a waitlist: we are counting whether it's worth starting.
- The numbers in the specs are a joke. There is no price; the form only asks.
- Deadlines always burn. How the candle would burn, we don't know: nobody has lit one.
Sign up for the Office Series
Pick who gets cast first. This isn't an order: no payment, and no real price yet either.